the long engagement

Ever since moving back to Brisbane, BugLite and I have been trying to put in place some of the plans that we’ve established, but as the adage goes, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray” (sidenote: Who actually said this?? /mind blank).

One of those plans is to get married some time… any time… whenever time… He asked me to marry him after almost seven years of being together and we’ve been engaged for just over a year now. Seriously, we’re not in a major hurry for this to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings. Well, let me rephrase that, I love attending other people’s weddings. The ones we’ve been to over the last few years have been gorgeous events, but we’re not the huge, extravagant, cash-throwing kind. Sure, everyone has given us their opinions and advice on weddings, and how it doesn’t necessarily have to bleed you of your hard-earned dollars for it to be a beautiful and memorable event. And then the cynics have told me that it’s not about the wedding, but the marriage, so spend that money on something more practical, like a down payment on a house. With that being said, and as much as I respect everyone’s opinions, I’m in my early thirties, embarking on a new career, living with my parents (again!), my priorities at the moment are to find a job and our own place. I don’t care if I’m engaged for the next fifty years of my life, so long as I get to spend it with BugLite and our family to follow (not a hint, I am not pregnant).

We shopped around the other night on a whim to get some ideas for wedding bands and prices. It’s interesting hearing everyone’s opinions and ideals about how long an engagement is supposed to last for, and when the wedding date should be made. Where do all of these “rules” come from? So BugLite and I have decided to just do it the way that we both want to, and at the moment, it’s basically getting immediate family to the marriage registry and having a celebration when we get around to it. I refuse to let this be about what family wants. If they want us to have a wedding the way they want it to, then they can pay for it and make the arrangements, just tell me when and where to show up in the dress. I have been called a dreamer all my life (probably why it took me til my thirties to find out what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I digress), and I’m at the stage now where I do need to think pragmatically about my choices. I’m not getting younger, my biological clock is ticking, house prices are soaring, not to mention daycare and school fees to think about when kids finally come around. So in the big picture, a wedding is at the bottom of our priorities. Judge me all you want, but I’m throwing the traditional book out the window. End of story.

boracay proposal

Even BugLite’s proposal wasn’t exactly the most traditional. He didn’t get on one knee and gush beautiful words to me, but I didn’t care! He’d been planning it for four months and I didn’t even know about it. Mainly because I was so stressed and overworked during the last part of my first year in the postgraduate course, I was just looking forward to some R&R with family in the province and with just the both of us in Boracay, Philippines. Our flight to Boracay was delayed, and when we landed we had to take a bus, and then a bangka to get to the island and our hotel. We started at 6am and arrived just after 4pm, and then BugLite was insisting that we get ready quicksmart to catch the sunset on the beach front. I wasn’t having a bar of it and ended up being Miss Crankypants because I was stinky, sweaty, tired and just wanted to nap for an hour before sipping cocktails all night. Little did I know that he had actually hired out a section of the beach with prime sunset enjoying location (see picture), had the hotel staff build a private mini gazebo, and the restaurant staff attending to us all night. I thought it was a bit excessive for what I had assumed was just a celebration of him finally finishing his studies and for us to chill out. We were both sitting down, and he was slightly shaking and nervous when he took out the box with my ring in it. He had lost all words, but asked me the important question, to which I answered “yes”. He started putting the ring on my finger, but had to ask me again if I had said “yes” – he was that nervous. He later showed me what he had wanted to say to me, and then I was a crying mess after that, but extremely happy. It’s not every day your long-term boyfriend proposes to you at sunset on a beautiful tropical island :)

On that note, I hope everyone has a great start to the week, whatever it is that you have planned!

dm

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